有些事情，自己应该在高中毕业，开始一个独立的成人生活的时候就应该了解。

20 Things I Wish I Had Known When Starting Out in Life
我真希望自己独立之初就能够了解的20件事

“Everything has been figured out, except how to live.” - Jean-Paul Sartre
任何事情都已经被搞清楚了，除了如何生活。——让·保罗·萨特（法国哲学家）

I’m nearly 35 years old, and I’ve made my share of mistakes in my life. I’m not a big believer in regrets … and I have learned tremendously from every single mistake … and my life is pretty great.
我已近35岁，我想和大家分享自己生活里的一些经验教训。我并不是一个后悔论的信徒……但是我的确从每一个自己犯的错误中学习到了很多……我的生活现在已经十分不错。

However, there are a few things I wish I had known when I was graduating from high school and starting out as an adult in life.
尽管如此，我觉得有些事情，自己应该在高中毕业，开始一个独立的成人生活的时候就应该了解。

Would I change things? I’m not so sure. I might never have gotten into a mountain of debt, but then I wouldn’t have learned the amazing satisfaction of getting out of it. I might have made better career choices, but then I wouldn’t have all the work experience that makes me the blogger and writer that I am today.
如果时光可以倒转，我是否应该重新选择？我不是很确定。我从未陷入债务危机，但是如果我没有经历过且又从中走了出来，那么我就无法从中获得那种巨大的满足感。我觉得自己选择了很好的职业，但是在成为博主和作家之前，我并未拥有足够的关于此方面的工作经验。

I might not have gotten married that first time, so that I would never have gotten divorced … but then I wouldn’t have my first two beautiful wonderful incredible children from that first marriage.
也许我不会第一时间就结婚，所以我也永远不会离婚……但是我也不会因为第一段婚姻而获得了两个漂亮无比、古灵精怪的孩子。

I don’t think I would change any of that. However, looking back, there are some lessons I’ve learned that I would probably tell my 18-year-old self. Do I share them now to share my regrets? No, I share them in hopes that younger men and women, just starting out in life, can benefit from my mistakes and my lessons.
所以我觉得自己并不会重新选择。尽管如此，回顾过去，我们总是可以从中学到很多宝贵的经验，我很想把这些经验告诉18岁的自己。我分享这些经验是否为了减少自己的后悔感？答案是否定的，我分享这些经验是希望年轻的少男少女们，在开始自己的独立生活之前，可以从我的经验教训中有所收获。

What follows isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s one that I hope proves useful to at least a few people.
接下来要分享的内容并不是一个无所遗漏的清单，但是我希望可以确实帮到一些人。

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.” - Jack Handey
我希望生活并不是一个巨大的笑话，因为我觉得它并不可笑——杰克·汉迪（美国幽默作家）

1.How to control impulse spending. If there’s anything that got me in trouble financially, it’s impulse spending. Buying clothes when I don’t need them. Buying gadgets because I gotta have them. Ordering stuff online because it’s so easy. Buying that new shiny SUV because … well, because it was going to help me with women. I’m not proud of any of that. I’ve learned to control my impulses, at least a little better. Now, I give myself some time to breathe. I think over my purchases, see if I’ve got the money, think about whether it’s a need or a want. That would have been a useful tool 15 years ago.
1.如何抑制冲动式消费。如果有任何事情可能让我陷入经济危机，那这就是冲动式消费。在我并不是真正需要的时候购买衣服，仅仅因为占有欲而购买一些小玩意。因为网购很容易就订购很多东西。购买新款耀眼的SUV，仅仅因为……好吧，因为你想要让它助你泡妞。我觉得以上的所有事情都不值得骄傲。我学会了控制自己的冲动，至少应该说相较他人而言我可以很好地控制自己的冲动。如今，我会给自己一些时间来呼吸，让自己对要购买的东西多想一些，看看自己是否有闲钱购买，自己是因为需求购买还是因为欲望。我觉得这些方法要放在15年前，一定很有用。

2.You gotta stay active. I was in track, cross country and basketball in high school, but once I started college, the running and basketball began to slowly fade away. Not right away — I played pick-up basketball for years after high school. But even that went away, until I became sedentary. Playing with my kids outdoors winded me. And I began to get fat. I’ve reversed that trend, and am very active now, but I’m still trying to burn the fat I gained in those inactive years.
2.保持活跃。高中时，我在篮球场上或者乡间打篮球。但当我开始上大学，跑步和打篮球就慢慢退出了我的生活。高中后我也打过几年的街头篮球。但这些都已成为过去，我现在已经变味了静坐者。和孩子们在户外玩耍会让我气喘吁吁。然后我开始变胖，还好我现在已经抑制住了这样的趋势，因为我又变得活跃起来了。当然，在我不那么活跃的那几年，我还是尽量燃烧自己增加的脂肪。

3.How to plan finances. I always knew that I was supposed to budget and track my spending, when I became an adult. I just was too lazy to do it. And I didn’t have a good idea of how to actually do it. Now, I’ve learned how to plan, and how to stick to that plan. Sure, I deviate from my plan, but I’ve learned how to handle that too. Maybe that’s not a skill you can learn from book reading. You just gotta practice. Well, I hope to teach it to my children before they go out on their own.
3.如何理财。当我长大之后，我总是知道，自己应该做好预算，然后追踪自己的资金使用情况。但是我总是因为太懒而无疾而终。所以我并没有很好的理财经验。不过现在，我已经开始学习如何理财，如何坚持按照理财计划来行事。我当然会背离自己的计划，但是我也已经学会如何处理这样的状况。也许这个技巧无法从书本上学会。你必须实践，好吧，我希望能够在自己的孩子独立门户前教会他们这些技巧。

4.Junk food will come back to bite you in the butt. Yeah, it wasn’t just the sedentary lifestyle that got me fat. It was all the damn junk food too. I would eat pizza and burgers and Twinkies and sugar cereal and desserts and donuts and … well, you get the picture. As someone used to being able to eat whatever I wanted, it never seemed like it would be a problem. Bad health was something to worry about when you got old. Well, my jeans began to get way too tight, and to my horror, I climbed several pants sizes and developed a gut that only now is going away. I wish someone had shown me an “after” picture when I was young and downing the Big Gulp sodas.
4.垃圾食品会回头反咬你一口。没错，我的脂肪并不只是从不活跃的生活方式中积累的。还和那些该死的垃圾食品有关。我会吃披萨、汉堡包、Twinkies、甜麦圈、甜品和甜甜圈……好吧，你可以想象了吧。一旦有人习惯了吃我想吃的这些东西，他/她会觉得这并没有什么问题。健康问题会在你上了年纪之后显现出来。好吧，我的牛仔裤已经变紧了，最吓人的是，我的裤子尺码攀升了好几个级别，不过现在已经解决了这个问题。我希望有人能够为我展现一幅图景，那就是在他/她年轻的时候就开始狂喝苏打水，看看之后会变成怎样。

5.Smoking is just dumb. I didn’t start smoking until I was well into my adult years. I won’t go into why I started, but it didn’t seem like a problem, because I knew I could quit anytime I wanted. Or I thought I could, at least, until several years later I gave it a go and couldn’t do it. Five failed quits later and I realized with horror that my addiction was stronger than I was. Sure, I eventually beat the habit (quit date: Nov. 18, 2005) but it took a piece of my soul to do it.
5.抽烟是愚蠢的行为。我成人之后才开始抽烟，如果给我选择的机会，我不会再抽烟，当时的我觉得抽烟对我而言并不是什么问题，因为觉得自己可以随时戒掉。或者我觉得至少自己能够在几年之后不再抽烟，而且是永久戒烟。但是当我五次戒烟失败之后，我认识到自己的烟瘾是如此骇人，成瘾度已经远超过自己的想想。当然，我最终戒烟成功了（戒烟日期：2005年11月18日），但是我的确花了不少精力来戒烟。

6.Fund your retirement, son. And don’t withdraw it. This piece of wisdom, and probably all the ones above, might seem blisteringly obvious. And they are. Don’t think I didn’t know this when I was 18. I did. I just didn’t pay it serious attention. Retirement was something I could worry about when I was in my 30s. Well, I’m in my 30s now and I wish I could slap that little 18-year-old Leo around a bit. What money I could have invested by now! I had a retirement plan, but on the 3 occasions when I changed jobs, I withdrew that and spent it frivolously.
6.孩子，一定要缴纳养老保险，千万别半途而废。这个智慧和上述所有内容可能都极度显而易见。而且他们也的确很明显。别以为我在18岁的时候不了解这些，但是我并没有那么认真地对待他们。退休是奔三之后才开始担忧的问题，好吧，我现在已经三十多岁，我希望自己能够给18岁的小Leo多一些提醒。那我现在会有多富有呀！我有一个退休计划，但是换了三次工作之后，我就停止继续缴纳，且愚蠢地把钱花完了。

7.All the stuff you’re doing that seems hard — it will be of use. This is the first one that might not be as obvious. There were times in my life when work was hard, and I did it anyway, but hated it. I did it because I had to, but boy did it stress me out and leave me exhausted. Hard work isn’t as easy as I wanted it to be. But you know what? Every bit of hard work I did without knowing why I was doing it … it’s paid off for me in the long run. Maybe not right away, but I’m using skills and habits I learned during those times of high stress and long hours and tedious work — I use them all the time, and they’ve made me into the person I am today. Thank you, younger Leo!
7.努力地完成每一件事——总有一天会有用处。这个是第一个不那么明显的道理。在我的生活中，有好多次我都感到工作艰难，我没有好好处理，只是一味地厌恶。因为我不得不完成这些事情，但是孩子们让我充满压力，让我精疲力尽。努力工作并不是我想象得那么简单。但是你知道吗，每一次我在未知结果的情况下所做的工作努力……从长远来看都获得了回报。可能不是马上就能看到结果，但是我在这些高压情况下、长时间工作的情况下、冗长枯燥的情况下获得的技巧和养成的习惯，我现在经常使用，也是它们让我成为了今天的我。谢谢你，小Leo！

8.Don’t buy that used van without checking it out closely. I thought I was being smart by buying used, but I didn’t check it out carefully enough. That dang van had loads of engine problems, a door that nearly fell off when I was driving, a door handle that snapped off, a side mirror that fell off, no spare tire despite three tires that were ready to blow (and did), windows that didn’t roll up, rattling noises, an eventual blown radiator … I could go on and on, but let’s just say that it wasn’t my best purchase. I still think buying used is smart, but check things out closely first.
8.不要还没有认真检查就购买二手的货车。我觉得自己在购买二手商品是蛮有经验，但是我还是检查的不够仔细。那辆该死的货车居然有发动机超负荷的问题，有一扇门在我驾驶的时候差点掉了下来，一个门把手则断了，一侧的后视镜居然已经掉了，没有备胎不说，四个车胎中的三个居然要爆胎了（而且后来确实爆了），车窗无法完全摇起来，噪音很大，散热器也坏了……我还可以继续找出各种问题。我智能说这绝对不是我买过的好东西，我仍然还会继续买二手物品，但是下次一定要先仔细检查。

9.That guy you’re going to sell your car to? On a gentleman’s agreement? He’s not gonna pay you. I sold another car to a friend of a friend, who I was sure would pay me even if I had nothing in writing. That was smart. I still see the guy once in awhile on the road, but I don’t have the energy to do a U-turn and chase after him.
9.那个你准备把车卖给他的人，即使你们有君子协定，他也可能不打算给你付款。我曾经买过一辆车给一个朋友的朋友，我当时确定这个人会付款给我，即使我们没有签订任何纸质的协议。这人太精明了，后来我也曾一度在路上见过此人，但是我没有足够的气力来个大转头，然后紧追着他不放。

10.Make time to pursue your passion, no matter how busy you are. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, and get a book published. I just never had time to write. With a family and school and a full-time job, there just weren’t enough hours in the day. Well, I’ve learned that you have to make those hours. Set aside a block of time to do what you love, cut out other stuff from your life that take up your time, and don’t let anything interfere with that work. If I had done that 15 years ago, I could have 15 books written by now. Not all would be great, but still.
10.为追寻自己的兴趣而挤出时间，不管你有多忙。我一直想要成为一名作家，希望能够出版一本书。但是我总是没时间来写作。有了家庭，要上学，还有一份全职的工作，我几乎无法从每天中抽出足够的时间。好吧，我发现你必须学会挤出时间。为自己喜欢做的事情专门留出一个时间段，把其他事物都排除在此时段之外，好好享用这个时段。不要让任何事情打断你做自己爱的事情。如果我15年前就这样做了，那么我现在已经写出了15本输了。虽然不可能每本书都很棒，但至少我一直在写作。

11.All that stuff that’s stressing you out — it won’t matter in 5 years, let alone 15. When things are happening to you right now, they mean all the world. I had deadlines and projects and people breathing down my neck, and my stress levels went through the roof. I don’t regret the hard work (see above) but I think I would have been less stressed if I could have just realized that it wouldn’t matter a single bit just a few years down the road. Perspective is a good thing to learn.
11.所有事情都把你压得喘不过起来——5年你都受不了，更别说15年。现在在你身上发生的事情，对于此刻的你而言就是全世界。我也有工作完成的截止日期，有需要完成的项目，也有人不停地在旁催促，我的压力指数可以冲到天花板了。我并不后悔努力的工作（如前所述），但是我觉得我可以减少压力，如果我认识到现在看来很重要的事情，其实很多年之后并不算什么。所有要学会以长远的眼光看待事物。

12.The people you make friends with are so much more important than your job or the things you buy. I’ve had a few jobs, I’ve bought a lot of things, and I’ve made a few friends over these last 15 years. Of those, the only thing that still matter to me are the friends. And I wish I could have spent more time with friends (and family) than on the other things.
12.能够结识朋友，远比你的工作和你买的东西重要得多。15年来，我有过几份工作，也买了很多东西，但是却没交几个朋友。然而至今对我来说唯一重要的东西只有朋友，我希望自己能够花更多的时间和朋友（家人）相处，这远胜过其他事情。

13.All that time you spend watching TV is a huge, huge waste of time. I don’t know how much TV I’ve watched over the years, but it’s a crapload. Hours and days and weeks I’ll never have back. Who cares what happens on reality TV, when reality is slipping by outside? Time is something you’ll never get back — don’t waste it on TV.
13.用来看电视的时间是对时间最大最大的浪费。我并不知道自己过去的几年看了多少电视，但是一定很多。成小时、成天、成周的时间，我再也无法追回。谁会在乎电视里正在发生什么，因为现实就在窗外真实地上演。时间是无法挽回的——因此千万不要将其浪费在看电视之上。

14.Your kids are going to grow up way faster than you think. Don’t waste a minute. I just had an Oh My God moment recently. My oldest daughter, Chloe, is 14 going on 15 next month. I have 3 years left with her before she leaves my house and becomes an adult. Three years! I am floored by that single fact, because it really doesn’t seem anywhere near enough time. I want to go back to my younger self and whack that younger Leo on the head and say Stop working so hard! Stop watching TV! Spend more time with your kids! These last 15 years with Chloe (and my other wonderful kids) have gone by much, much too fast.
14.你的孩子长大的速度远比你预期的要快，不要浪费任何一分钟时间。我最近突然发现，我最年长的女儿，克洛伊已经14岁，下个月就满15岁。在她成为大人离开这个家之前，我和她相处的时间只剩3年了。3年啊！我被这个简单的事实无情地击倒了，因为我觉得在任何地方似乎都不存在充足的时间。我希望回到年轻的时候，然后猛击小Leo的头，告诉他：“不要那么卖力的工作了！”“不要再看电视了！”多花些时间和你的孩子在一起，和克洛伊在一起的15年过得也太太太快了！

15.Forget the drama. Focus on being happy. There have been many things that have happened to me, professionally and personally, that seem like the end of the world. And while these things were bad, they get blown up in our heads so that they become major drama. They caused me to be depressed from time to time. What a waste of time. If I realized that it was all in my head, and that I could be happy instead if I focused on the positive, on what I did have, and what I could be doing … I could have skipped all the moping about.
15.我身上发生了太多的事情，无论是工作方面的，还是私人方面的，有时候似乎让我感觉我已经走到了世界的尽头，这些事情让我的大脑要爆炸了，所以我觉得这些事情也太戏剧化了。这些事情让我觉得一直很压抑，这是对时间多大的浪费啊。如果我认识到这些事情不过是自己头脑编造出来的，那么如果我只关注积极的一面，自己就可以变得愉悦，无论我已经做了什么，或者我将会做什么……那么我就可以掠过那些忧郁的过去。

16.Pay more attention to blogs when you first hear about them. They’re more than just journals. I first read about blogs 7-8 years ago, but when I took a look at them they didn’t seem like anything of interest. Just some people’s journals about stuff they read on the web. Why would I want to read those? I have my own thoughts about the web, but I don’t need to share them with the world. I spent a lot of time on the Internet, on various sites and forums, but every time I happened upon a blog I would brush past it without interest. It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I discovered what wonderful things they could be (I mentioned some of my early favorites in my list of influences). If I had gotten into blogging years ago … well, I wouldn’t have been wasting all that time.
16.当你第一次听说某个博客时，你需要对其给予多一些关注。博客不只是日记。我是7-8年前第一次读到博客，但当我第一次看到他们的适合，我对其并不感兴趣。我觉得这不过是关于一些人在网上读到的一些事物的日记。那我为什么想要阅读呢？我有自己的关于网页的看法，但是我并不需要把这些看法和全世界分享啊。我花了很多时间泡在网上，浏览各种网站和论坛，但是每当我读到博客的时候，我都会无趣地快速掠过。直到几年前，我才发现博客是个多么神奇的东西（我曾经写过一个对我有影响的我早期喜欢的事物清单）。如果我能够早点开始写博客……好吧，我就不会浪费那么多时间。

17.Speaking of which, keep a journal. Seriously. Your memory is extremely faulty. I forget things really easily. Not short-term stuff, but long-term. I don’t remember things about my kids’ early years, because I didn’t record any of it. I don’t remember things about my life. It’s like a lot of foggy memories that I’ll never have access to. I wish I had kept a journal.
17.坚持发表观点，写日记。我很认真，因为你的记忆充满了错误。我很容易忘事儿，不仅近期发生的如此，更别说很久之前发生的。我甚至都不记得自己孩子们早年时光发生的事情，因为我没有对此做任何记录。我也记不起自己之前的生活，它就像一堆模糊的记忆，我无法得其门而入。我真希望自己有写日记的习惯。

18.Tequila is seriously evil. I won’t go into details, but it should suffice to say that I had some bad experiences, and I’m not sure I learned very much from them or benefited in any way except to learn that tequila is the drink of the Devil.
18.龙舌兰酒真的是魔鬼。我不想多说细节，但是我负责任的说这其中有很多十分糟糕的经历。我都不清楚，我是否从中学到了很多，或者有所获益，我只觉得龙舌兰一定是酒中的魔鬼。

19.Yes, you can do a marathon. Don’t put this goal off — it’s extremely rewarding. Running a marathon had always been a dream of mine, since high school … something I wanted to do but thought was out of reach. Or if I ever did it, it would be years and years later. Well, I learned that it’s not only achievable, it’s incredibly rewarding. I wish I had started training when I was young and light and fit … I could have had some good finishing times!
19.没错，你可以开始跑马拉松。不要把这个目标推迟实现——马拉松真的益处多多。自上高中以来，跑马拉松一直是我的梦想之一……我一直想要做，但是一直没能做。如果我要开始跑马拉松，那可能是很多很多年之后的事情。好吧，我认识到马拉松不是唯一的成就，它其实可以让你获益良多。我真希望自己很年轻而且不那么胖时候就开始训练……那么我现在就可以取得一些好成绩。

20.All these mistakes you’re going to make, despite this advice? They’re worth it. My 18-year-old self would probably have read this post and said, “Good advice!” And then he would have proceeded to make the same mistakes, despite good intentions. I was a good kid, but I wasn’t good at following advice. I had to make my own mistakes, and live my own life. And that’s what I did, and I don’t regret a minute of it. Every experience I’ve had (even the tequila ones) have led me down the path of life to where I am today. I love where I am today, and wouldn’t trade it for another life for all the world. The pain, the stress, the drama, the hard work, the mistakes, the depression, the hangovers, the debt, the fat … it was all worth it.
20.所有你犯过的错误（包括这些建议）都是值得的。18岁时候的我，如果读到了这篇文章，我一定会说：“好建议！”但是之后我还是会犯同样的错误，即使没有恶意。我是一个乖乖仔，但是我并不擅长跟随他人的建议行事。我希望自己过自己的生活，犯自己的错。这就是我所做的一切，我并不曾有哪怕一分钟的后悔。我的所有经历（甚至包括龙舌兰酒在内）指引我走上了如今的人生之路。我喜欢如今的自己，绝不会和世界上其它任何一种人生交换。痛过、压力过、沧海桑田过、努力过、错过、低落过、徘徊过、经济危机过、胖过……都是值得的。

“Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” - Mark Twain
我们要努力地活着，让帮我们下葬的人都感到抱歉。——马克 吐温