There is one key factor that can either damage your relationships or deepen them. That factor is your attitude. If you’re hoping to grow and maintain positive relationships in your life, read on. Below you will find a 20 step attitude adjustment guaranteed to help you do just that.

有一个可以破坏或者加深你人际关系的重要因素。这个因素就是你的态度。如果你希望在生活中保持并发展积极的人际关系，请读这篇文章。下面你将会看到20个步骤可以确保你做到。

1. Stop holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.

不要怨恨。怨恨使你不快乐。

2. Stop complaining. – Instead, use your time and energy to do something about it.

不要抱怨。相反的，用你的时间和精力去解决问题。

3. Stop meaning what you don’t say. – People can’t read minds. Communicate regularly and effectively.

不要去暗示。别人不能读懂含义。正常地、有效地沟通。

4. Stop making it all about you. – The world revolves around the sun, not you. Take a moment to acknowledge this truth on a regular basis.

不要太自我。世界是围着太阳转，而不是你。承认这条公理吧。

5. Stop lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.

不要撒谎。不管多久事实总会不证自明。要么你承认你的行为，要么你的行为终会出卖你。

6. Stop blaming. – Blaming others accomplishes nothing. Either you own your problems, or they will own you. Your choice. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give-up your power over that part of your life, and you annoy everyone around you in the process.

不要责怪。责怪他人没有任何用处。要么你有你的问题，要么问题属于你。这是你的选择。当你责怪他人的时候，你否认这种责任—你失去生活中一部分的力量，并且你会惹恼你周围的人。

7. Stop doubting. – If you think that you can’t achieve something, I have some news for you, you’re probably right. But don’t let your self-doubt interfere with other people’s dreams. Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.

不要怀疑（别人的可能性）。如果你认为你不能完成某件事，我要告诉你，你很可能是对的。但是不要让你的自我怀疑打扰到别人的梦想。请记住，永远不要去打扰别人在做的事情，就算你认为它不可能实现。

8. Stop interrupting. – Correcting someone when they’re blatantly wrong is one thing, but always interjecting your opinions out of turn gets old fast.

不要打扰。当别人有错误的时候纠正是一回事，但是常常不合时宜的插入自己的观点容易加快变老。

9. Stop being selfish. – You get what you put into a relationship. Nothing less, nothing more.

不要太自私。在人际关系中投入多少你就会得到多少。不多也不少。

10. Stop judging. – Everyone is fighting their own unique war. You have no clue what they are going through, just like they have no clue what you’re going through.

不要武断。—每个人都会与自己有独特的战争。你没有办法知道他们此刻正在做什么，就象他们也没有办法知道你此刻正在做什么。

11. Stop gossiping. – Gossiping about others is a lose/lose situation. It hurts them, and then it hurts your reputation.

不要传播流言蜚语。传播别人的流言蜚语你会处于不利的形势。这会伤害他们，也会损害你的名声。

12. Stop making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise. Over-deliver on everything you do.

做不到的事情不要作出承诺。不要过多的承诺。要多多兑现。

13. Stop being defensive. – Just because someone sees something differently than you doesn’t mean either one of you is wrong. Keep an open mind. Open minds discover great things.

不要太自卫。别人看待某件事的观点和你不同并不意味着你们都是错的。敞开你的心扉吧，你会有更多发现。

14. Stop comparing people to others. – No two people are alike. Everyone has their own strengths. We are only competing against our own selves.

不要拿别人和他人做比较。没有两个人是一样的。每个人都有自己的优点。我们能做的是与自己竞争。

15. Stop expecting people to be perfect. – ‘Perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ And genuine ‘goodness’ is hard to find in this world. Don’t overlook it.

别希望别人能变得完美。—'完美'和'好'是敌人。真正的‘完美’在世界上是难以找到的。不要忽视这一点。

16. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – It’s impossible. But making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

不要试图成为每个人的一切。—这是不可能的。但是使人微笑可以改变世界。或许不是整个世界，但是能改变他们的实际。所以缩小你的焦点。



17. Stop screwing people over just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. Think bigger. Do what you know in your heart is right.

不要跟损友鬼混仅仅因为你做了坏事也不受处罚。仅仅因为你能侥幸逃脱不受处罚并不意味着你应该这么去做。多多思考。做你认为对的事。

18. Stop making mountains out of molehills. – People make mistakes. Crap happens. There’s no reason to stress out yourself and everyone around you because of it. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

不要把小丘变成大山。人们会犯错，坏事会发生。无名的压力围绕着你和你身边的每一个人因为这件事情。一种检验这件事是否值得去想的方式是问自己：“一年后我还会在意这件事情吗？”如果没有，那就不值得去烦恼。

19. Stop being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.

不要太戏剧性。置身于别人的剧本之外并且也别去创造你自己的剧本

20. Stop giving out advice, and just listen. – Less advice is often the best advice. People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement. What they want to know is already somewhere inside of them. They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.

别给太多建议，听就可以了。没有建议通常是最好的建议。他们不需要很多建议，他们需要有人倾听和积极的声援。他们想知道的已经在他们心理。他们仅仅需要时间去思考，喘喘气，然后继续在没有方向的旅程中探索并且最终能帮助他们找到方向。

And remember, your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have. So pay attention to it, develop it, nurture it, and never, ever stop.

最后请记住，你和自己的关系是你有过最亲密最重要的关系。所以请关注它，开发它，培养它，永远，不要停止。